Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Don't Rely on Anybody

One of the things that consistently leads to depression for me is people letting me down. I just can't seem to learn my lesson. I keep relying on friends that usually let me down and the result is always the same; me feeling worthless. Do my friends just suck or am I so worthless that I'm not worthy of respect?

It is difficult not to rely on anyone when you're mentally ill, because gettting on your own can be difficult. However, it might be something you might have to get used. Maybe its just my friends that suck (my friend let me down this week which is why i'm ranting right now)...Anyone else have this problem? At least I have family I can rely on. Thank god for mom and're the best.

Its annoying when i get into a hypomanic state, because I feel so confident that people won't let me down (I can't help it). Then they let me down and I feel terrible. However, it does hurt less and less as i expect to be disappointed more and more. I think its finally getting through my thick skull that I can't rely on my frineds for anything and doing so only puts my mental health in jeopardy.

It can be a sad feeling not having friends you can rely on, but I think its even worse to be in denial. You shouldn't put your self esteem and happiness in the hands of people who are going to be irresponsible with it.

I hope you enjoyed my rant :)

People suck

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